Speed dating is a form of torture.

Speed dating IS a form of torture. 

Also, saran wrap. 

I can never get that stuff to work like I want it to.

Pre-Story Facts:

Every so often (all the time), the stake I am in will throw giant activities to encourage meeting and marrying. Depending on where you are in the cycle of loving and hating being single these events can be exciting or horrifying but always scary as hell. SO. MANY. single people.

So... Speed Dating activity was created.

I promised to go.

I went.

There is an entire gym full of tables and chairs. 

We all sit down across from someone. 

You have three minutes.

A buzzer rings, the boys slide down one seat. 

The table in between us has a pile of slips of paper with questions on it to ask each other in case we have forgotten how to speak.

I make fun of these, but after the first boy just stares at my for a minute (not responding to my questions like "what is your name?"), I am thankful for them as he reaches his arm out for one and shakily reads it out loud. I respond "My favorite food is a popsicle." 

The buzzer rings. 

3 minutes for that. 

Poor guy.

Story:

Boy slides over in front of me.

"Hello," he says "I have super powers."

Normally I would think "crazy" but so far the line of men before had nothing creative to say and all 15 before have figured out that I am not an elementary school teacher and quickly moved on... so this was fun and refreshing. I decide to play along.

"No way," I say. "Me too!"

"No you don't." 

"Huh?" This took me off gaurd.

"No you don't." This makes me mad. The only rule to Improv is NEVER SAY NO. Who the hell is this guy?

"Well, what is your power?" I ask.

"I can't tell you, but I know you DON'T have one."

"Yes, yes I do." At this point I could have willed myself to fly just to prove him wrong.

"What can you do?" 

"I can bend nickels in half."

"Prove it."

"Do you have a nickel?"

"No, here's a quarter."

"I said I could bend a nickel. Use your powers to turn it into a nickel, and I will bend it."

He looked annoyed. I was annoyed. Because we weren't bantering. We were fighting. I thought this one was going to be funny, creative enough to make a speed dating situation interesting... instead I just find a nut case.

"Look, I am telling you you don't have powers. Don't lie to a powerful one..."

BUZZER.

He slides over.

Epiphany:

I might have actually met a super hero.

I guess I really screwed that over.