Aliens, Witches or Nick Nolte... Oh My!

I have the opportunity to work with a lot of older ladies in my job working with Volunteers. I enjoy my job a lot and have noticed there are two types of old ladies. Grandmas and Witches. You know what I mean? They either look like one or the other. Not to say you can't have mean grandmas or nice witches... but just look wise... i digress.

So, whilst working at the Shakespeare Festival, there was one old lady who looked like a witch that I worked with. One day my friend Rev had visited and as he was leaving he stuck out his finger so I touched it and we both said "ouch." You know... this whole moment thing...



So we laughed and I turned around to see this witch-old lady standing there with her finger pointed out at me. I figured since she had just watched what Rev and I had just done I would touch her finger, we would both say "ouch" and laugh. She would then be part of this little club... I guess?

So I turned, and touched her finger and then she said...

I walk like you
I talk like you
The only difference is, I have sex by touching fingers.

My mind melted.
WHAT IN THE WORLD JUST HAPPENED TO ME!?!?!?!
I jumped back.
Rushed to my office.
Still speechless.
Had I just been raped by an old lady?
What in the world?!

So that happened five or so years ago.

Then last night...
This lady approached me.

http://www.kutv.com/news/top-stories/stories/vid_3073.shtml
(Watch starting at 3:38)

She says to me "May I lick your hand?"
"Huh?"
"Might I lick your hand?"
"Nah"

I rush back to the stage.

Because this is normal behavior.

So... what do you think... Witch, Grandma or Nick Nolte?