On Sunday, I ventured home to spend the afternoon with my family and brother before he leaves for two years to serve a mission in Mexico. We played a few games and laughed throughout the afternoon and then my mother made dinner. She even picked some lettuce from the luscious garden that she keeps and we sat down for a super amazing dinner of grilled chicken salad fresh from the backyard.
We all dished up and began to eat, and as it always happens over the dinner table we bickered about topics not to be discussed over food. I can't for the life of me remember specifically what the topic was this time, because of what happened next but nevertheless when I went to get more salad and started screaming
"YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!!"
You see, I looked into the salad bowl and saw, what I thought was a leaf crawling out of the bowl. Until my eyes focused and my brain released the truth to my eyes. My brain held out as long as it could. It tried to keep this secret from me. It tried to explain away the moving leaf in a quit myriad of possibilities. Wind, Ghosts, hell even Aliens? But I am too smart for my own good. The truth was there and I recognized it. It was an arachnid, an eight legged monster, It was a spider. I green spider. From the gates of hell.
FROM THE GATES OF HELL.
You guys, It was awful.
When my screams turned to sobs, my family looked into the bowl, saw the spider and they all lost it. They were laughing so hard. at me. at the situation. but mostly at me. No one finished their meal. I was traumatized. We all had tears in our eyes from laughing so hard. Well they laughed, my sobs turned to anger at the spider. WHY! Which made them laugh harder.
My mom said afterwards "this would have never happened if you weren't here. This stuff only happens to you." I nodded my head, acknowledging the truth in her statement and then responded with "life makes me tired."
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