the act of joining in dinner and participating in inevitably awkward conversations with people having some relation with you;
Each time my extended family gets together I can always bank on someone picking into my personal life. Which is fine, really. I generally don't mind talking about my personal life. It's only hard when it becomes the only thing people want to talk about. I always mentally prepare before the holidays and part of this preparation includes getting some new ideas, thanks to Facebook friends, of retorts towards these blatant inquiries.
Here are some of the ones I received this year...
When they ask "when are you getting married?" You say "sooner than I think." Baffling is always best.
"I still have leftovers from the last one... but they'll probably only last till Christmas; so I should be on the lookout soon."
"Why are you still nosy?"
How about pulling out a 45 and pointing it at them. "Ask again... I dare ya." Then smack your lips once, holster your piece, and walk away
"Why buy the whole pig for just a little sausage." That'll shut 'em up!
Because the perfect guy is getting the why are you single speech from his family at his thanksgiving party instead of meeting me.
You could always do the whole, well I went to the doctors and I only have weeks to live. I will take care of the whole marriage thing on the other side.
My response has always been. "I'm not lazy about finding someone else. I try and I pray but God hasn't answered my prayers yet." The second you put it in gods corner they feel all sorts of awkward and then they back off. And usually they never ask again
I suggest "Because I don't want to make anyone else go through my...disease ." then howl to the sky and ask for a steak, extra extra rare.
Just start saying random words, "bubble gum, cream cheese, underpants." That's what I do...
Always hilarious.
This year was a bit more than usual. After dinner, a couple family members really honed in on the grilling and the following conversation took place...
FM: What are wrong with these guys?
Me: Nothing. What do you mean?
FM: Well if they are over 30 and single, something is wrong with them.
*gasp*
FM: Wait, how old are you?
Me: 30.... What's wrong with me?
There was a lot of back pedaling after that. Understandably.
When my immediate family and I walked home from my Grandparents house, there was a lot of apologizing for the previous conversation. My dad told me that I should have "used the answers I got from Facebook." It didn't make me mad that the family member said it to me, it made me mad that she said it at all.
See, here's the thing. No matter if I was over or under 30 the idea that "something is wrong with them" is not acceptable. I hear so many of my friends struggle with self esteem problems because they are still single. They think surely something must be wrong with them. I feel sad when they say these things. So when I heard my family members reinforce this idea I felt angry. I felt responsible in a way for the words that were really hurting my peers.
Our words truly effect people. The things we put out into the world really matter. If people are single at any age, it is not because something is wrong with them. That is simply not true.
Those that are single for any reason, still or now divorced, are just fine. We all have things we are working on, nobody is perfect. Those that are married know this better than anyone else, so please don't voice your fear and insecurities in such damning sentences. There is nothing wrong with you. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU. No matter your situation, age, education, job, nothing! It is your place to figure out what you want to change about your life, not any one else's.
Don't say dumb junk.
But since we can't control other people...
Don't listen to silly people saying silly things.
You are stronger than that.
Enjoy it all.
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