Oh how quickly a check engine light can change your day.

Maybe it is just me.
Maybe it is just me that is so dramatically affected by the check engine light. When it is off, I am fine. I am truly able to live my life with gusto. When it is lit, however, I find myself evaluating every life decision I have made until this point. "At what point did I really screw up to get this kind of Karma attack" and so on. Here is my story...
Sunday. I got up early, and was off to do some extra service for my church. It had snowed really badly the night and morning of, and although this aspect may have stopped one from venturing into the cold, I was excited to see the snow finally here! I got into my car, and began the short drive when I looked down and beheld with mine eyes the horrific orange/yellow glow of the clip art known to me as a miniature engine. The check engine light was on. Immediately I was soured. I wanted to pull over and climb under my car. Or, actually, stay inside my car because it was snowing... but nevertheless I thought of climbing into fetal position in my back seat. Days later a group of mom-walkers would discover my body. "She died of car anxiety"... it would read in the newspapers... how quickly my thoughts spun to this.
Let me clarify a few details for you, from this situation... My car is old. It has a lot of miles. It did not die. The engine light solely came on.
Back to my melt down... I kept driving, praying that my car wouldn't die completely and that I would make it up the hill to church. Meanwhile trying so hard to not let the intensity of my panic, anger and frustration of car problems overcome my ability to enjoy my Sunday. For the most part I didn't act like a complete Ogre for the rest of the day but my mind raced on about the millions of dollars and first born children I would be asked to give up for a working car.
A few more details... I have never purchased a new car. I keep buying old ones. I recognize that I do this to myself. Jon keeps telling me to just get a new one. I put it off each time.

  I took a piece of paper, folded it up and placed it over the light. This helped. If I can't see it, it doesn't exist... right? Well the placebo worked, I was able to drive home and then to work, Monday, in peace. Then Monday evening I was driving to an activity and I looked down at the piece of paper blocking the heinous light. I slowly removed it... in disgusted anticipated of the intense anxiety that was about to overcome me again...and it was OFF!! The light was off. It was like the sun had risen and I was surrounded by unicorns and rainbows. Nothing could get me down. In my head I pulled over and hugged and high-fived strangers on the street. Instead I sang along with the radio, at the top of my lungs. I called my sister to tell her about the extremes in emotion I had because of one silly check engine light and she asked what I would do if, at the end of the night, I got back in my car and the light came on again. And this what replayed in my head...

This is what it felt like when I first saw the light come on.  

This is what it felt like when the light went off.

This is what I will do if the light comes back on.

Photos are from hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com

 The light hasn't come on still, and I plan on getting it checked out this week. I may be dramatic, but I try not to be reckless and stupid. I am always on time with scheduled car maintenance. So, that is where we are at, me and those that live in my dramatic head.
Meanwhile... Have an amazing Valentines day! Share the love with everyone you love in your life.

Melissa