I arrived early to fill out the paper work. They had me checking off all the diseases I had in my family. Luckily I don't have anything to worry myself over, but my Grandma did pass away to the lovely cancer bug a couple years ago so now in the deepest recesses of my mind...I am afraid I have cancer. A couple years ago I got my stomach checked for ulcers, and when I woke up from anesthesia my mother informed me that I asked them to check for cancer more than a dozen times. I guess its the world we live in now. These thoughts will come into play later.
Then I was led into a room and a young woman asked why I was there, I said "to check out some moles" and she typed some stuff into a computer and then handed me a gown as she was leaving the room and said "take off your clothes and put this on." Here is how it all went down in my head from that moment. See, I didn't know how long I had to make the quick-change, but no one wants to be caught naked in the room so I was in a rush to strip and place the lovely open backed gown on. However, I was in a predicament I didn't know how much naked I should get. I mean she was just looking under my arm but the young woman did say since it was my first time there they might have well have a look-over. So I just didn't know. This was stressful, so I just took it all off. Yes, down to the nothings. So, that happened. I was done changing so fast in concern that I would be caught naked by a doctor that would now be seeing me a la nude anyways... but that is besides the point.
Then I waited. And waited. Probably 5 minutes in all reality, I didn't time it... but I was naked... so it seemed like forever. Forever enough to have me second guessing my choice on being naked. And also assuming that with their all knowing powers of medicine they already knew that my mole was cancerous and they were all outside the door playing rock-paper-scissors on who was going to tell me that I only had a few days to live. The intensity was all too much for my poor mind, and just as I was about to put my shoes on and run to my car, the doctor came in and before she said anything I said in this frantic, loud, concerned voice "I didn't know how much naked to get!"
She laughed and said the more is better, but she had never had anyone voluntarily take it all off. We both had a good laugh again. She said she is fairly confident that the one mole that I didn't like was just fine but she biopsied it for me anyways just to calm my brain. So no clothes, but no cancer.
Dermatologist visit successful- check!
Giving her a great story to tell her doctor friends- check!
Adding yet another story to my arsenal of laughs- double check!
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